Tiaong Archive Blog

"I'm nervous," I said to Malcolm Douglas Gamet, but he didn't reply.

I wanted to scream at him--"I'm nervous I said! Won't you please acknowledge my existence? My proper use of English?"

I was nervous because I didn't know how my English-speaking ability would be judged. I tried all my calming techniques, which all failed. It's just IELTS, I told myself. The other parts of the test were easy, I told myself. The listening, reading, and writing were all in the bag.

The speaking test was the only thing left to do.

When I read the brochure weeks ago, it looked as if the speaking test was the simplest and easiest part. Twenty minutes max, it promised to tackle very basic topics.

I remembered the trauma of my Spanish oral exams back in college. This is different, I told myself. I grew up with English (Sesame Street and Hardy Boys). I have a degree in Literature. I clinched the TOEFL and the GRE. IELTS is nothing, I told myself.

IELTS is pronounced "ayelts" and stands for International English Language Testing System. It's the same thing as TOEFL--but Commonwealth countries won't recognize TOEFL. Too American, I suppose. In the Philippines, it is administered by both the British Council and the IDP Philippines (Education Australia). For 8,960.00 PHP, you can get your English language ability certified, valid for two years. The highest possible score is 9.0. My wife got an 8.5 years ago. The New Zealand requirement is 6.5.

"Don't be nervous," Mr. Gamet said. "Would you like some water?"

"Oh, yes, please," I said and he poured me a glass.

"So, you're planning to go to New Zealand?" he asked. "Which city?"

Mr. Gamet was a tall, bulky fellow, with an easy American accent. He was hired by the British Council specifically for IELTS testing. I had imagined that he would be mean, aloof, and snobbish. He was none of that, as the interview proved, not even a bit. My nervousness was all my fault.

After the basic questions about myself, my home town, life in the city, and how Filipinos value time, we came upon the freestyle event. I was supposed to discuss an assigned topic for two minutes, after I think about it for one minute.

"Ah," I knew what to discuss, "there's this band called Barbie's Cradle."

He stopped me. "Hold on. Are you ready to begin?"

"Yes."

He tapped the small clock on the table between us and marked the time.

"Go ahead."

I spoke about Barbie Almalbis, their origins from Hungry Young Poets, their gigs, the subsequent break-up of the band, Kitchie Nadal--

"Time's up."

I was just warming up. Damn. I was stumbling on my words and ideas. I did not follow my outline. I was not grammatically correct 100% of the time. I did not pick the flowers one by one. Damn my fumbling tongue.

We chatted a bit more, then he wrapped it up.

"That's it. Thank you."

"Thank you." I stood up and left the room.

When I practiced the night before, it wasn't like that. (Describe a teacher who has greatly influenced you in your education. Describe a letter you received which was very important to you.) I could actually make sense. I had drama, feeling, and proper articulation. My interviewer would have applauded for more.

After ten working days, I'll find out what a lifetime of English would amount to. I'm secretly hoping for a score of 9.0.